Dear Sweet Zombie Jeebus, I may regret this...

[thatwordgrrl.livejournal.com]

Over here, I posted that I had about 300 Back up (see icon) ribbons printed up that I was willing to send out, at no cost, to people who asked. Some people asked and I also had a handful with me at the con this year.

Clearly, it was not enough.

So to make this bigger and louder, I am making the offer here. You PM me your addy and I send you ribbons *free of charge*. They will go out in batches of 10 (unless I get inundated, in which case, I will lower that number).

Unless I get hollered at by the mods, I will repost this once every month or two, just to keep it fresh in people's minds.

Please note, that I am but one person doing this as my volunteer project. The more voices we have, the more people see the ribbons, the bigger this gets.

I'm going to run in terror now from the potential ensuing tidal wave... :>

[ETA: Peeking out from under the deluge...

WOW -- I am beyond floored at the response so far!

A few things:

1. Please, I must give credit to these people, who gave me the initial idea. They planted the seed.

2. It appears I may be close to out of the run of 300, just from requests today. :O So unless you specified more (at least one person wanted 30), I need to reduce the batches to five. I will place another order. Please be patient if yours don't show up right away.

3. Alright, alright! A Paypal addy is in the process of being arranged. Twist my arm, whydoncha! :>

Or, you know, to quote one of my favorite do-gooders: "I'm just happy to be doin' good works."

THANK YOU ONE AND ALL FOR YOUR SUPPORT!!]

[ETA PART TWO -- ELECTRIC BOOGALOO Paypal addy arranged: thatwordgrrl [at] gmail [dot] com
*Please specify it as a gift, so that Paypal takes as little as possible.* Again, please don't feel obligated. THNKS!]

Comments

[feuervogel]

I'm PMing you forthwith!

[elfgrove.livejournal.com]

Rather than asking you to send me some, would you mind me imitating the concept at some West Coast cons? I'm staff on a smaller one, and we travel to several of the local conventions. We do the ribbon-thing, and I would love to add "Back Up!" to the list of ribbons we have on hand. I'll talk to my fellow staff about it at the next meeting.

[thatwordgrrl.livejournal.com]

Conjecture or Con Dor?

Sorry...I'm actually a Left-Coaster myself (Los Angeles). :>

Tho' I'm still happy to send you some or for you to spread it to the SD area (Comic-Con anyone?). If you know Chaz Baden, who runs Anime LA, he can get you a pretty good 'piggyback' deal. That's who I went through.

What would be swell is some Right-Coast or Midwest folk willing to add to this.

[elfgrove.livejournal.com]

I'm actually on the new baby con headed for year 2, "Anime Conji", but a lot of our staff double-duty and one or both of the other two as well. I just volunteered to be part of the Conji delegation (fan table, room party, etc) at Conjecture.

We piggy-back via Chaz as well. :D That's great. He'll know what I'm asking for then.

[wyldkyss.livejournal.com]

Oh, I love this idea. Especially with the harassment concerns that have been discussed this week in the comm.

[mhaithaca.livejournal.com]

That should get a chuckle from others who wish there were more breathing room at cons! If only there really were space for people to back up into. Thanks for the offer. :-)

[musicboxwaltz.livejournal.com]

yeah, this. backing up into...more people :/
good concept though!

[anjldust.livejournal.com]

I think it means back up as in like, backup, as in like "If you ask this person for help when you're in an uncomfortable situation, they'll help you out."

[attilia-auborne.livejournal.com]

Of course. I now have Travelocity's Roaming Gnome, saying "No! No! Don't Back Up!"

Now that would be a fun costume to do while wearing the ribbons...

[zarathud.livejournal.com]

Someone really needs to wear one of these with a Reducto costume.

[lenina.livejournal.com]

This DEFINITELY needs to spread around a little more. I help run two small cons and a midsize one in the Pittsburgh area. I'm going to talk to our President and see if we can get any backing on plans to make sure this is known about. (It seems to be spreading a lot lately...) Maybe I can get him to give the website a spot in our program book.

I'm proud to say I already back people I don't know, or don't know very well, up already. I'm going to send you a PM and after I talk to our organization president, I'll see if he wants to get more involved with the group or not.

Thanks for sharing this!

[kimberworld.livejournal.com]

I think this is awesome, and after what happened at this past D*C, we certainly need to make our Labor Day Weekend family more aware of the dangers that seem to be creeping into our sanctuary.

This made me think of whistles or something of the like to pass out next year (as long as they weren't abused and became an annoyance, which could be an issue). Is something like that feasible, do you think? Doesn't necessarily have to be a whistle, but something to garner immediate attention when warranted.

[scandalkitty.livejournal.com]

Great idea. We need to support each other and bring attention to this issue. Any way these could be offered at badge pick up or something? I think that would be a bit of a reminder for people to stay safe and, perhaps, also a reminder for the "bad guys" to back off and that that kind of behavior is not tolerated.

The idea of whistles is definitely something to consider as well, but I'm pretty sure they would be abused whenever people were feeling...spirited.

[tomreedtoon.livejournal.com]

I noticed that none of you ever explained the idea in the link. The idea ties in with the security and harassment issues that haunted this year's Dragon*Con, and being cute about what "back up" means simply points out how lousy you've communicated the idea.

Saying "back up, don't fondle my breasts, don't treat me like a whore, you drunken stupid football fan, you" isn't communicated well by a ribbon added to a badge, which the costumer is probably wearing in a hard-to-see location anyway. Merely adding that to a badge does nothing. Having real security, and emphasizing to everyone that we must ALL be security for each other, is what the con needs.

[mllesays.livejournal.com]

The point is not that wearing a ribbon means you want people not to fondle you. Wearing a ribbon means that you pledge to step in if you see someone being harassed or assaulted. The ribbon merely makes it more known, in a visible manner, that there are people at con who will come to your aid. This way victims of sexual assault don't have to feel alone and shamed into silence.

From the original post which spawned this project:
Here's my pledge: if I see somebody groping you in public, and you're not moaning Yes! Yes! Yes!, I will break through your Somebody Else's Problem invisibility field and come over and ask if you're okay. If your situation looks dangerous enough I can't help on my own, I will call over friends or, if it's a situation in which I think the cops would be on your side, I will call the cops. If you're being harassed by a guy, you can say so to me, even if you don't know me. I pledge I will distract him so you can get away, or I will tell him that he needs to leave, or whatever I can do to the best of my ability. I pledge that yes, actually, because you are a woman I will give you the benefit of the doubt. If you tell me that a guy just did something shitty to you I will not refuse to look at any evidence and tell you that I know him and he's a great guy and you must have been imagining things. I have great loyalty to my male friends but I will not allow that to blind me to the fact that none of us are saints and even my best friends can screw up and may need to be called on it. I pledge that I will walk you to your car if you don't feel safe walking alone at night, and then you can drive me to mine.

...I pledge that even if I don't know you, if there is a creepy guy following you around, you can say so, and I will not say to you go hide in your room; I will say to him go find another party, or if necessary, go home. I will come with you if you need to talk to the con organizers. I will not make you feel like your right to control over your own body is not a big deal.

And I will do this whether or not I like you, or even know you. It's not about liking you. It's about the fact that we need to back each other up, and I will need you to do this for me some day.

[tomreedtoon.livejournal.com]

Your process and your "Back Up" idea is good, but again...the ribbon doesn't say it.

And second, it doesn't mean very much if you don't have the support of the convention's security force.

My point still stands. the officials of Dragon*Con should make it clear, and a condition of the free or discounted membership badge, that they are expected to watch for and report security problems. Maybe someone like Stan Lee can't step in, but he could point and say "Hey, look there! That's a scummy thing to do!" And those who can, should intervene.

This has to be part of the con's security program, not a lone vigilante program. Anyone who takes action should know that the con's official security force, and the Atlanta Police, approve of those actions and will stand by his and her side.

[mllesays.livejournal.com]

I don't disagree with you about needing better security — please note that people have floated workable ideas (http://community.livejournal.com/dragoncon/2543979.html) and action has been taken to convince the con organizers to implement them.

However, this is an effort in addition to calls for better security. Furthermore, it is an effort to unite women in watching out for each other, and to reinforce the fact that we are not helpless victims, and that we do not have to wait for the organizing structure to recognize our plight and respond (something which, frankly, may never happen). This is not a "lone vigilante program," it's a movement by women, for women. If critical mass were reached, we wouldn't even need official con security, because we'd all be looking out for each other and ensuring each others' safety. We can't reach critical mass all at once; we have to start somewhere, and this is where we're starting.

Telling us we're doing it wrong feels a lot like an effort to silence us. You want us to wait for a response from the officials. We're saying we will not. We will come together to protect ourselves, because we have each others' backs.

[tomreedtoon.livejournal.com]

Well, that's good for you. I agree with that attitude. If you accept the "Back Off" sticker as the understanding that women should stick together in incidents like this, that's wonderful.

I just think it's a sad state of affairs that these security measures aren't already in force. And...well, frankly, the con owes it to the women who are there, because their appearance is a major draw for Dragon*Con.

The other thing is...if I was faced with something like this happening, it would take me too much time to step in and stop something like this. Because people, in general, are afraid to join into fights. It would help me react faster if I knew I was supposed to have that responsibility and that others approved of it.

[thatwordgrrl.livejournal.com]

This year, there was an incident at Comic-Con where one fan stabbed another in the eye because of a dispute over some saved seats.

Every eyewitness account posted to the Internet stated that, despite people yelling for official security repeatedly (as in, like 30 or more times), none were to be seen. It was another fan who physically detained the attacker until the police arrived to arrest him.

Do you really think the guy who detained the attacker thought "Hmm...I wonder if Comic-Con security is OK with me doing this"? Really?

[tomreedtoon.livejournal.com]

No, but it would make the person more likely to take action if he knew he wasn't alone. See, that's the point. Is security going to be something about which Dragon*Con DOESN'T CARE?

Let me put it this way. If you have to be an outlaw to be an honest, caring person who will step in, well, that's terrific for fiction, but it tends to make stepping in a lot more rare.

With all the posts still kicking about this, if the staff of Dragon*Con doesn't do anything to address this matter, the next convention will be even worse, more violent and more ugly. And if security turns out to be in the hands of volunteers who have nothing to do with the convention, operating without the understanding and guidance of the convention, that makes the con staff look pretty negligent.

As far as I'm concerned, it's time for the convention to step up and say...well, damn it, SOMETHING.

[thatwordgrrl.livejournal.com]

Yup -- and people are talking to them.

Oh look, that fan just got attacked and no security to be seen. Quick, what do you do?

Option A: Fellow fan restrains attacker because security hasn't shown up

Option B: Stand around until security arrives (if it ever does) because, well they have AUTHORITY.

And that's MY point.

And on that note, because you and I clearly cannot agree, I'm done.

[lethlogica.livejournal.com]

Dragon*Con security is all well & good; but they've got finite resources. There are only so many of them. They also don't have full legal training for all of the volunteers, & there wasn't much in the way of training for the out-of-towners (which I most definitely was - luckily I'd worked for event staffing companies at events like Ozzfest and Lollapalooza, so knew a little bit about big crowds.) The D*C security staff - both regulars & irregulars - work hard, they honestly care about keeping the convention a safe and welcoming place for everyone, but they're stretched thin. Even if they had the training (which they may have, for the locals), they don't always have enough people with the training. (Count me as one of those people. I've had the training, but I'm not willing to be fulltime security again. Not for 25 hours.)

Just like living in a big city - which is almost what D*C has become, now - we all have to watch out for ourselves and each other a bit better. We can count on security when we've done as much as we can do, but we can't count on them to be everywhere at all times. That means that we, who are everywhere, have to be more aware. That means communicating more clearly - both halves, the listening as well as the talking. That means being more vocal about not letting people get away with outright stupid schtuff (like physical / verbal harrassment or carrying around non-peacebonded weapons.) That means being prepared to nonviolently back people up - because while there are some folks who will try & fight, most will change their course of action when they realize that 1) they're outnumbered & 2) their actions aren't approved of.

Dragon*Con is a great big community. We're all responsible for the continued evolution of the community...which is why I keep volunteering as much as I do. Just like a neighborhood watch program, where people are simply more aware of what's going on & are more visibly willing to assist people who need it, we all need to do our part - for security, for the con suite, for everything. That extends to elevator-courtesy, costuming-courtesy, and yes, being willing to stop & make sure that the petite woman in the pixie costume really does want the physical contact from the guy in the Green Man outfit (or even vice versa. As outrageous as it sounds, there are males who get into situations where they may want an escort to their car, may want someone at a party to stop hitting on them, may want a female to not touch them. While we females are more likely to be the recipient of physical harassment, just because someone can more easily write their name in the snow doesn't mean that they want to be intimately touched by people they don't know.)

As for me, I'm planning on offering to help out...but I'm not volunteering to work full-time. I do want to contribute, but I don't care to work 25 hours. I'd rather pay full price for my ticket, help out for a shift or maybe two short ones, & enjoy my time at the convention. (Since I'm one of those weirdos who actually sleeps a full 7 hours each night, a 25-hour work schedule would pretty much mean that I would have very little time to actually enjoy the convention. And I'd be stranding a friend who's coming for her first Dragon*Con, which would be rude even if I wasn't looking forward to hanging out with her.)

This solution isn't a lone vigilante program, though it can turn that way. Individuals always, always have the potential to turn into a mob. But if you were assaulted or harassed, and were outnumbered, wouldn't you want people to at the very least step up and say, "Um - yeah - is there a problem here?" and stay there until they got assurance from both sides that, yes, everything was in fact okay? If you needed assistance, & weren't in line-of-sight with someone in security, wouldn't you want to know who nearby might be willing to help?

Hopefully this will lead to everyone being more aware, and not to people using unwarranted force or measures to fend off attackers or unwanted attention. There is no perfect solution that will work in the actual world - just plenty of theories that, all combined, will be the tool we need to minimize the ill-mannered behaviors.

[tomreedtoon.livejournal.com]

lethlogica, I agree with everything you said. But Dragon*Con should make this known to everyone. It wouldn't be hard to include a little statement with the bar-coded letter they're planning to release for next year's members. Something like this:

"Dragon*Con is committed to your safety, with our security volunteers and our hired Atlanta Police officers. But you are also an essential part of keeping Dragon*Con safe and secure. If you see anything questionable - people in costume being hassled or grappled, anyone being assaulted or threatened - we encourage you to step in and do whatever you can to cool down the situation and keep your fellow members safe."

Yes, that'd be humiliating, admitting that Security and the cops can't do it all by themselves. But it's just accepting reality. And it would send an important message that is often lacking in conventions. No matter how far you may let your imaginations fly, in whatever you do or however you dress, you must remain grounded in reality.

[bunnymcfoo.livejournal.com]

JSYK, the fact that you need official permission to do the right thing is really pathetic.

[tomreedtoon.livejournal.com]

Everyone needs official permission from the con to do this. If do this without authorization, you're Frank Castle. You're the Jigsaw Killer. You're Freddy F***ing Krueger. You've decided to wreak your will upon whatever you may think is wrong, the courts and the law notwithstanding.

Like it or not, what security means is law enforcement, emphasis on law. And like it or not, if the person whom you wrestle to the floor is not done so under legal conditions, whether he is a rapist or not, he can sue you and make your life hell.

I'm about to work Universal's Halloween Horror Nights. The park has had twenty years of incidents as bad as any Dragon*Con, and worse, with crowding as bad or worse in the park. Everyone keeps the event safe because we work within specific legal guidelines, set by our own security people and by the Orlando Police. That means official sanction.

Ragging on authority, parents and like that is really a fun sport, but they exist to keep people from killing one another. And that is exactly what this security business means.

[thatwordgrrl.livejournal.com]

Wait...wait...

Fear of a lawsuit? Really?

You honestly think if somebody sees a drunk guy groping somebody else, their first thought will be "Gosh, better just mind my own business. That guy might SUE me!"

No, really?

[tomreedtoon.livejournal.com]

Yes, really. Duuh.

Why do you think there are so many people who stand by and do nothing? It isn't that they're necessarily conceited and don't want to get involved, the old Kitty Genovese argument. People weigh a lot of things in their minds when something like this happens. And if the bad situation comes upon them suddenly, the time they spend weighing those factors often paralyzes them.

Police, security people, and even just plain assistants (like me at work) are more likely to step in when we've thought about the consequences beforehand, and mentally prepare before something happens. THAT is what the preparation time is for. THAT is why official involvement by the convention authorities, and getting people to think about being pro-active, is necessary for this to work.

You think you can be a hero on the spur of the moment? That's a nice fiction, but in reality people stand by slack-jawed and properly fearful of their lives. And yes, lawsuits. Unless they are prepared.

[away-fromitall.livejournal.com]

this is an amazing idea. I will pm you my address right away.

Ribbons

[empooress.livejournal.com]

Please email me off list, I am also working on something similar and it would be great to present a united front, my e mail is empooress@gmail.com. Together, we have more connections.